the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
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I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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