he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
