Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
