found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
