Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
