You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
