you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
