he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
