Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
