The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
