Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
