I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
