I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
