ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
