do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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