i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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