so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
