I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
