i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
