let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
