You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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