At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
