She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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