I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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