It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
