the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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