Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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