i jhust puked up my retainher.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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