Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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