I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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