she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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