The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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