I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
