I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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