Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize