sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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