The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
