I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize