It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Bring me that man meat
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
