First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
