Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Mom said you looked used
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize