the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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