I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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