I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
wow bdsm is so cute
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