I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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