I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
