well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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