He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
God, I missed his penis.
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