i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
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I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
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"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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