Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize