season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
