Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
