But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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