forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
