I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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