Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize