after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize