Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're a waste of cheezeits
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
